A Conversation

Now that we've decided to accept my parents' offer of assistance, all systems are go for IVF.  But first we had to have the conversation.

My husband and I were both seriously dreading it.  I mean, come on.  Nobody likes to talk about money...especially if you're asking someone else to give you some.  It felt a bit like saying, "We tried and we failed - will you pay for us to try another way?  A really super expensive way?"

We arrived a couple of nights early for Thanksgiving, and we went to dinner with my parents.  We all knew it was coming, and so our pre-dinner small talk just felt weird.  Inconsequential.  Pointless.  Finally, right before our entrees were served, I gathered together every ounce of determination I had, and I blurted out "Okay, we really need to talk about this.  We've agreed to take you up on your offer to help with the financial obligations of IVF."

It's not like it was out of the blue.  Everyone knew it was coming, but it still felt like the hardest thing in the world to say.  Luckily, I have two of the most generous parents in the world.  I think my dad would have been fine to end the conversation there, with a "Sounds good.  Just let me know who to make the check out to."

However, hubs and I had to talk through some of this.  We had to tell them why it took us a year to accept their offer of help.  We had to outline exactly how much this (and potential subsequent) procedure could cost.  And we drew a parallel.

The cost of IVF roughly equates to the cost of a car.  One cycle = a compact economy car.  Multiple cyles = a luxury car.

My dad's response?  "I have a car.  I could buy a new one.  I don't want to.  I want to spend my money on this instead."

Like I said, I am so incredibly lucky.  With my parents' blessing, we went home and made an appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist.  We were going to have a plan, and soon.